Today I pray,
for the day I will see you,
Let today be better than yesterday,
But I didn't think it would be you,
That brought the smile for me to play,
Now that I knew,
I'm glad I didn't have to pay,
for that priceless smile that was from you,
because you are the one I was missing everyday,
Don't you realise you're the reason,
I've been spending my days alone,
Waiting for the sun,
The day you realise I'm alone,
The time you smiled,
My heart jumped for the first time,
Now I know how it feels like,
when they say,
It feels like your heart is jumping,
Because I've felt it for the first time today,
and it's all because of your smile,
When our eyes were locked together,
those smile will be remember,
Your smile, those smile I've been waiting,
The smile I never knew I would get,
Until today you gave it to me,
They say it's just a smile,
But to me it was more than that,
Even I know I have to share,
Your smile is something I never forget,
Because I'm a stranger,
The girl you didn't notice,
when you smile to me for the first time,
My heart jumped for the first time,
Don't you realise you're the reason,
I've been spending my days alone,
Waiting for the sun,
The day you realise I'm alone,
The time you smiled,
My heart jumped for the first time,
Now I know how it feels like,
when they say,
It feels like your heart is jumping,
Because I've felt it for the first time today,
and it's all because of your smile,
Your smile, those smile I've been waiting,
The smile I never knew I would get,
Until today you gave it to me,
I will alway remember this day,
because you're the reason ,
I'm smiling today,
and I will never forget,
the smile you gave away,
that made my day,
Don't you realise you're the reason,
I've been spending my days alone,
Waiting for the sun,
The day you realise I'm alone,
The time you smiled,
My heart jumped for the first time,
Now I know how it feels like,
when they say,
It feels like your heart is jumping,
Because I've felt it for the first time today,
and it's all because of your smile,
those smile will be remember,
written by S.S
© 2009, S.S (27/03/2009) 11.59P.M
SMILE..
What Do You Live For ?
One question we strive to answer, one time we overlooked the reason, one year that is never enough to know, the thing you live for. Why do you look forward to the future, why you want to know what happens to you, yet, you're afraid of what's coming. For me, I find the answer few years ago but never thought I would use that as the reason why I live over the years. I live to chase my dreams, I live to find myself, I live to change the world, I live to make sure I don't make the same mistake as others did. If I had a wish, it is possible that I wouldn't wish to look into my future, instead I wish of my dreams to come true. At least once, once in my life, I would like to feel how to be the person I wish to be, to help others with my voice. If you had one wish, what would you wish for? Have you ever wonder what that wish is. I wish to be surrounded by friends who appreciate me, who care for me, who shows they love me for who I am. Being surrounded by friends is the best thing, being together with your family is the best and priceless things you should alway appreciate. Do not overlook your friends.
Saturday, February 7, 2009
All The More Reasons
I stray away during time your wonder why I ran away. Couldn't see couldn't understand to hurt and to weak to stand. Speechless without words that was tangle into sentence that couldn't be understand. I was there for where you need me, you were there for when you needed me. I was hurt, sad, in the dark, and in the lonely silence, while you were in the light, with friends, and the person who spoils you the most. Days turn to months, I couldn't accept for the one to be gone to have fun when we have only hours to laugh, cry and share the things we kept. Love is a horrible word, when you see it in the deeper way, I cry, I am happy, I am sad, I am insecure, I am lonely, I am in denial, all because of love. Blind, stupid, alone and miserable the best you could give a girl with a lonely soul. Tear me, tear my heart, tear me, cause I'm sorry you don't know me. All the more reasons I stray away, My feelings, my love, my tenderness and my care for you. Trust shattered across the floor when you lied, straight to the eye, of an innocent minded, and insignificant person, a person that trust you the most. Carrying the anger, the sadness the thick pressure of the burden on me is being release. Let you see if you see. Let you feel, how you feel, let you know the word alone. Let us cherish every moment we have with ourselves. In any way I there for you myself, For always and forever... Goodbye... good luck... take my heart and tear it, tell me I was wrong to trust you, tell me you want me there, cause lately I don't thing you want me , to be there for me, to care for me....all you do is care for yourself...
*Somethings happen for over a month that I have been trying to buried inside of me. This may sound like a weird thing. But what I wrote is what i've been trying to hide, what I see can no longer be diminish unless you prove to me wrong if you know you are...because even the past we create can never fade away forever...
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
"Am I suppose to be happy, if all I ever wanted, It comes with a price"
Wanting something so badly could kill you, could hurt you or could harm you in so many ways.I have a very bad day, but not that bad except that I just feel I had enough of all the talk all the subjects that I tried to avoid. I am in denial, I trust someone to be there for me but I realise at that time I was alone, more alone that I ever thought I would be. I am panicking and terrified for the day to come, the day I grow up and I have to live on my own with nobody to lean on or cry on.. I haven't felt this way for so long. I have one year to go and not a day that comes just make me want to scream my heart out my feelings out. Imagine yourself in a room all dark with nothing inside and all you hear is the rain outside as it hits the leaf and fall to the ground. So many words left linger in your head and you hug yourself tightly so you won't get hurt by anybody or anything but even when you do that, it doesn't mean you won't get hurt one way or the other. So many feelings so many things and so many reasons that makes me feel like I want to curl on my bed and cry myself out. Everyday I imagine myself on stage and singing the song I love and brings a whole new reason for me to live through all the obstacles. Do you hear sound the piano makes even there are other instruments played. As the drum beat and the electric guitar strumming in the background. The piano is a fragile thing and the beat of the drum is how your heart feel and sound of the guitar shows how you try to be strong in facing all of it. When the lyrics are sang it brings a whole new image a new meaning, making people understand the song deeper than it already is as all the instruments were played. This is how passionate in music I am not entirely in classical but also contemporary. Bottom line that is why I choose music as the career I would love to be in. I want to wake up every morning knowing that the music I love will forever be remembered and the lyrics I write will help the people who suffer as I do and look at the world the way I do. Have you ever seen an old man walking or riding a bicycle with a small plastic bag with biscuits in his hand hoping to get home before twilight comes. Do you ever wonder where is his children and what is he doing in the middle of the highway. Maybe he comes home to his family where they wait for him to reach safely maybe he doesn't have anything to come home to and the biscuit will be his dinner for the night. How would you feel. When you see twilight the combination of the orange coloured sky with star shining higher in the sky with blue backgrounds. Your heart must be saying how beautiful it is but how sad it is to even look at the environment as the sun goes to sleep and awaits for another day to begin. The beauty we find is because the beautiful things we have comes across through out the day and and new things you learned and the sadness you feel is because of the beautiful day that is about to end you know that a day like that will come once in a lifetime and it will never repeat again. Do you see this little things in life this fragile but strong meaning in life that actually helps you through the day and you don't even realise it. It's simple that when you have come across it many time before you overlooked it.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Mixed Things, Mixed Memories, Flashback?
Hello everybody, I know I haven't update my blog since last month. So many news, so little time to just sit down and tell you what I have been up to. One Thing I know I can't wait to share with all of you is that I have finally watch TWILIGHT ! I even kept the ticket since my cousin manage to get the ticket on the day it was premier in my country. I went to gold class and god it was like so comfortable and I can't imagine watching a movie and feeling that comfortable anywhere. The movie didn't actually fit the description in the book but that's too much to expect since if we follow the book , the movie will take 5 hours. But it was okay and acceptable I say. So that is all I could say since I don't actually have the mood to write something. I don't have the right song for the right moor right now so my blog it's not exactly good. But anyway hmmm I can't remember what to write. Anyway.. Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas ! Enjoy everybody..
I miss You
A year ago you were there, I was living it through the days, Till I find it so unfair, That you left me before you say, What you really wanted, The day I get to see you again, I was happy and nervous all turn to pain, Miss you like a dead person that is gone forever, miss you but you are no longer there, what happen to the hours of IMing, surprise texts and advice from you. I miss you... Please say you miss me to and please specify me...
I Might Write My Story , But Destiny Write Itself too for me..
There is a say that you learn from your mistake.. Well I sure hell did and didn't want to repeat my junior history. Now that I'm senior and his gone I feel so much better. Not that I ever did know whether he found out who I am or not. Well one sure hell thing is that I ended falling for my senior with no reasons, another senior ( his friend ). I don't know whether I do fall for him or not considering that I didn't have any like you know the "SPARK" like they say when you fall for someone. There was something missing in a way but I think I did fall for him. Well so a few days ago I was damn bored so I decided to just type his name on facebook and searched for him. Well HELLO ! he was on facebook.. damn it... I was praying like hell that if I never found him it would make it easier.. you know maybe like faith set that you're not suppose to find out more about him or at least something like that. After asking for suggestion from multiple kind of people... three people say I should add him as friend 1 say I shouldn't well you guess who.. My Mum ! Possible her vote count, possible her vote doesn't count. So in the end it was still my decision.. therefore I checked his friends.. hell no... the junior history just flashes in my mind like hell... so well I forget whatever decision I have to make. If destiny was set for us to be friends there would be many possible ways. But than again someone said.. God doesn't exactly put a story.. sometime the decision you make the road you choose carves your life.. so it sort of you write your own life. Not exactly in a way because there are many times that you manage to avoid that part but if destiny was set.. well what do you say??
Anyway that was just stupid thing I'm thinking at 2 a.m in the morning because I can't sleep. I'm informing you that I will be changing my blog because of a few reasons that I have to run from like four years of history ago example.. So if any of you want an update try searching for me if you can hehehe... Nahh.. I'm not that bad.. this blog will still be up for a few months so you guys can place comment on my blog for whoever who wants to know my latest blog URL. So I gotta go.. my head spinning my colds worst, my minds fading, my cheers for a toast... hhahahaha.. I'm nuts in the middle of the morning.. hehehe..
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Chasing Cars
Everyday, every minute, every second, every life , every time, every year, every family, every friend, every community, every girl and every boy. Each and every one of the people in this world. More than six billion people that are living this world suffer yet the same story of their life, yet different and unique in each way. What's broken couldn't be restored, what's shaken couldn't be saved, yet what's shattered couldn't be replace. I regret I miss, I think of the times it could've been. This last year my one last stand, the last time I will be in here. Seventeen and growing, seventeen and complicated, seventeen and scared, seventeen and facing the world alone that is full of violence, love, caring, manipulative and many more kinds of people. Am I thinking to much, am I scared because of past relationships, am I just bursting into tears to show the world who I am going to be. Will one girl change theworld,will my dreams be heard and seen, will it come true even if faith in believing was shaken many times. Sometimes I'm so high up on a pedestal,sometimes I was pushed so low that I couldn't stand. I thought I had the people I love around me, I thought what I needed was there for me, but I guess it was never meant to be. Why I keep my identity a secret why I choose to be secretive are the reasons you have seen I wrote about. I was given a question to write about my fears and facing it, my answer was my fear is to be alone, to not achieve my dream to not help others in need ,to not be there for the person she loves ,to face the world alone, to hold on tight to the rope that is slipping away, to be out there. When asked on who I looked up to, my answer was someone I know but they don't know me, when they say state the reason why, I choose to say their personalties of believing, having faith, strong, wary and caring and loving and many more are the reasons. The question asked again, will you follow this role models, and are they someone that is close to you, that you choose, I replied I choose someone that isn't close to me let alone know me. When asked to name THREE those that are considered invaluable, those that qualify should be eager and able to support you in various ways and vice versa. Difficult to answer the question I stared down quietly. It asked again if it's hard tell me who makes you feel good about yourself? Whom do I trust? Who leads a happy and healthy life? I sat there for fifteen minutes yet no picture came to my mind.. not one single picture...Not one person that I know would fit that.. not one.. I choked.. I stand.. I looked in the mirror... The question still continues even if the tears was shedding slowly... the questions that are left unanswered till this day..
Those three words--\
Are said too much---} I Love You
They're not enough-/
If I lay here------------------------------------\
If I just lay here-------------------------------} Who will ?
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?-/
Forget what we're told------------------------\
Before we get too old------------------------- }Dreams are impossible..they say
Show me a garden that's bursting into life----/ But is it possible...
What Do You See , When You see me
I smile and laugh, jokes around no doubt, even when I fake cough, you know what I am about,I know it must be tough , when you can figure what I am about, so tell me, what do you see, when you see me, cry and laugh, smile and sad, sensitive and scared, reluctant but dare, to dream and write the unwritten life, what do you see when you see me.
How do I swallow, How do I live, How do I just....
Who we are, why does this anger is building up, I feel like screaming my lungs out, it's so unfair.. it's unfair.. it's unfair.. it's just unfair..
Slow Sunday..
It's a slow Sunday.. I am really bored and I obviously have nothing to do.. So I'm just entertaining myself. Maybe I should write a song titles Slow Sunday. I am dragging the fact that I have school tomorrow and my crazy schedule will eventually invade my life. I am sick as hell.. my throat feels dry and my flu is still there and I am sweating like hell. Hmm what else should I write. Well I guess that's all... bye.. hope you have an entertaining weekend. unlike me. bye !
