The Fast Phase Parts Of Life

In the cold morning with two roommates sound asleep, I woke up to pray to find an answer. It was still pitch black outside and I switch on the light in hope my two roommates would not wake up. Facing the screen of my laptop with the google sign staring at me, I put my hopes up again, hoping, hoping to make believe that my hope would make my dream come true. I type in "degree applications" in two different tabs for two different private universities.

As I surf through the possibilities that I might just, might just be able to be a student of those universities for degree, my heart sank. It was just not possible to seek financial aid for the course that I want in the university I wish to attend without the financial risk. Despite the help they offer for the status I hold in citizenship, it was still too risky. I won't be able to generate enough money during this few months of holiday to support me and if I could to pay off the course, the day to day expenses was just too expensive. I realise it was imposible to study abroad. My CGPA does not promise me a 100% scholarship or even half the scholarship. Unfortunately this is due to the position of my life now, it was just imposible.

I shut off those tabs I've opened and cried inside. It hurts to know that all the education made possible was just imposible and the person that cause it was by things and situation you know was possible to change. If things were different, if that chance were given because it was possible. I do not wish to elaborate that part of my life but that is just the exact reason.

Will I be able to study abroad in the dream university with the course I want that is at least gives me hope? A hope that I will have a stable future. So I shut my laptop and open my book and decided that reality wins over dream. It was just not possible.

Sign,
-A girl with wishful thoughts-