Reaching The Next Level

As I type my final post from this rented house, rented room, my last day in this house where memories were made, where traces of my footsteps are marked, a sad feeling overcomes me, a happy feeling overcomes me and I end up in confusion. In terms of friends, I'm glad I learn who to believe, trust and that some are just passing wheels. In terms of growing up, the memories are precious and close to me, if I could see my younger self, I would smile and tell her "not to worry for now, so far its going to be quite okay". Could I have really reach this place, this phase of life where everything was just more than just a simple thing and the simplest thing was just nothing to worry about. I've learned so many things and yet, theres so much more to learn about life. The scary things are still scary, the unknown, the unplanned, and everything about the future is still very scary to me. A poet once wrote " Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has yet to come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful that it will be worth remembering." - Ida Scott Taylor. I learned that it was very true, there are fond memories where I resent, there are precious that I still keep, and there are darkness where I've buried, but here I am still living still learning and still praying to god to show me.

Kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, diploma in university, and next? Only god knows where my next road turn, and only I know the ways to survive it. I've had crushes, I've had heartbreaks, I've had backstabbers, I've had the loner, I've had been called names, I've had so many bad things but with all of that I learn to trust, I learn to know, I learn believe, I learn to see, I learn to love, I learn to hope, and I learn to dream. I learn to trust myself and the decisions I made, I lean to believe that I can make it when it seems like everything was falling apart, I learn to know who is the right people and what is the truth, I learn to see what is beyond that is visible in front of me, I learn to love myself and respect myself more than I used to,  I learn to hope because by hope I see another day and I learn to dream which is something I can never define the purpose if I don't reach it but it gives me something to dream about.

It's a sad thing to leave the old me, the girl who was timid and naive. I am not saying I am not that girl anymore but at least I'm far from where I begin. It's a whole new world and this could be the start of a new chapter in my life as one has ended. I honestly say I value and cherish my high school friends Nadee, Emma, and Hudee and for now I wouldn't trade them for anything. As for the passing times, I see the little girl I used to be the changes that I have to sacrifice that I learn till this day and I won't forget that girl and every stepping stone that I grow up to become.