Everywhere
I turn my sights witness events that were too stressful, too sad, too angry,
too lost and in rare occasions too accepting. Draining every inch of happiness
within me, I began to look at the world differently. I was sick of it and the
people who surround me. In fact I was sick of myself because to survive I had
to adapt which meant turning myself into somewhat like them. Although act of
kindness still exist, it is almost absent in the current world. Every once in
awhile I would smile because I still see videos of people doing an act of
kindness. Then again, most time I am dumbfounded as to how timid or low a
person’s mind to actually be cruel or inconsiderate of situations.
Sometimes
when I watch people’s faces, it’s like their life story is written all over
their faces. There’s a mother who’s tired but having her daughter smile with
full of trust in her, it lights up her life. There’s a couple fighting on the
streets and you wonder what were so broken that it did not survive. There are
others who find joy in actually in being cruel and a bully to others, it’s like
some sort of exasperation overpowers them and doing it brings satisfaction.
Then again, I look at people’s life and you wonder what can you help to make
the world lighter to them. However, when I saw footage of me recorded by my
boyfriend, I realize how the story of my life was written all over my face.
There were things I locked inside that I knew and understand but never really
expected that it showed on the surface and to some it was mistaken as something
else. That reel of video had magnified how my expressions were full of anger
and a wall that was built so high that nobody could penetrate. I had that anger
where I was sick of people bashing, attacking, and using me. Thus, those expressions
were visible on my face.
