Many people say, I go through life easily. I don't face the problems like they do. Everybody seems to think the burden they carry are much heavier than others they point to. In my opinion the burden I carry is the same weight as others but in a different form. It's how you deal with it that shows how you carry the burden on you. Some shows the burden on their face, while some covers them with smiles and laughter everyday. I'm the girl who wears a mask everyday with the smile and laughter because I hate sympathies. I live through days and complain about most of them but that's how I get through things, I complain and when I'm done I'll forget about it. I would say we should be luck on where we stand. Some might see us as the most lucky person on earth. We're not in the middle of a war zone, or being thrown away by parents or worst running for your life and working hard to survive the violent and uncivilised world at the same time go to school with the money you work for. We don't see this things because we thing it's something we refuse admit. We are lucky in our way. I deal with a lot, but music has been a part of my life that helps me go through. I search for something to tell me that my life is worth living. So if you think you can't take it, you can take it. I believe in this quote, "God will not give you the test if he knew you can't handle them" by Kelly Clarkson. I believe in that, though sometimes I ask why? I mean I'm a human being and I'm not perfect but I release my emotions through writing lyrics and strumming my guitar. I update blogs hoping other would read my story, my point of view. Though I know nobody reads them but I'm glad just having something share with the world take attention to my blog if ever have a reader.
The world behind my walls are so much more than you see a girl who is bubbly and smiling. I manage to put those masks because I knew what's best for me. And if I fall, I stand up again by myself. I'll cry myself to sleep and wake up the next day to tell myself that god will show me the road to truth. I believe in becoming a musician and I believe I'll achieve it someday. Sometimes god just gives you the test because he knew you needed them and sometimes he wants you to get the message his trying to tell you. So don't just give up, try try again till you get it right. Fights won't solve anything and by being egoistic won't do either. I have my ego I admit but then again like I said I'm human I'll try to change what I can, What I can't you just have to accept me with my flaws because no one it's perfect. Your imperfections are what made you perfect. : )
So smile and live your life to the fullest. Trust me everybody has a problem it's just how you deal with them. xoxo You'll soon know.
World Behind My Walls.
Reminiscing Over Something Tonight.
Hey everybody ! I'm so sorry for not updating how much that was going on with me. Like anybody would actually read my blog but for whoever who does I truly appologise. I have been truly busy with my life. To start of, I have a cold right now, I'm taking my driving lessons now and the best part is I'm on holiday now ! Well not entirely called holiday, at least I'm done with school. I'm currently a girl searching for a perfect university that offer Mass Communication and not to forget, I'm working on recording myself singing to post it on my blog. I know, it took me three years to have the courage to do that. Actually I was thinking to myself a lot that you only live once a life, so do something crazy. Forget what people think of you and just enjoy doing things crazily. If I keep on trying to stand perfect, I'll never get what I want so I'm trying my hardest to enjoy the rest of my life. Just like how I enjoyed the last 3 years of my high school life. I'm also determine to reach my goals this year. Ahhh I miss this feeling. Alright see you guys soon ! Take care, love ya'll and xoxo !
music: If We Ever Meet Again by Timbaland feat.Katy Perry. (This song just make me so happy)
Loveless in Decisions.
I looked at him deep into the eyes to find the answer that was fading slowly. As I touched his faced, I had forgotten and realise something that was there long ago. I had forgotten the days we were together and the time we spend reminiscing about the past and the future. The laughter we shared in the cafe and the time I first met his sister. Can everything change just by the tick of the clock, the blink of an eye and the whispering of the wind helped me. I place the engagement ring slowly on the coffee table.
“If you don’t know what you want right now. I’m going to leave this house and I’m not coming back to you ever again.” I said.
“You’re not making this easier for me.” He said
“And you’re not making this easier for either. You told me that I was the one and proposed to me by the sea. You would think that I would take that for granted but I didn’t. Tell me the truth because I don’t want to make the same mistake my parents did.” I said.
There was silence for a moment apart from the whispering of the wind and the sound of the rain that was beginning to fall heavily. Every memory that was drowning in me was trying it’s hardest to stay afloat. Slowly he took my hand into his. He slowly touches my cheek and looked deep into my eyes. My heart was closed and I resist myself from letting him to change my mind.
“Tell me you love me. Tell me that I was there when you need me and you would stand by me. You would never leave me or hurt me and follow me wherever and whatever it takes.” He said.
“I was there 3 years ago, and I still stand here today. I’m there when you need me but would you be there for me. I can’t promise you I won’t hurt you and I can follow every single step you want me to like a puppet. I am a human being and I make mistakes. You can’t stop me from what I want.” I told him.
“I still love you.” He said.
“Than what is so wrong about us.” I asked.
He held my hand tightly that night and holds his tears back from letting me see it.
“I am not what you think I am. I am not real; I’m not what you want.”
“You sound just like my father. I don’t want a man in my life that has no backbone. A person who can’t make up his mind and tell me that I should make up mine. This isn’t helping. I don’t want to end up like my mother.”
I took my handbag and walk out of the door. As I stand outside my door, I sighed in sadness and in relieve. I was so sure I didn’t want to end up like my parents. It’s better to have a long happy marriage than a long one filled with sadness.
p/s: This is what you call a stupid story that serves no purpose. But if you look closely, I think you might see my point. So good luck !
WWF Vote Earth !
New Year was something I look forward to, a new beginning, a new start, a new adventure to the life I have long known that's filled with obstacles. There are days I was down, I was sad, and there were days I was happy, I was laughing. It's already middle of the month and I'm amaze that I find pleasure in the world I'm living in. There are the fine things that make my life beautiful, the good the bad. Speaking of the good and the bad, I have a new topic I want to share with you.Under World Wildlife Foundation(WWF), that I have joined. WWF will be launching Earth Hour again for 2010. After the response they had received in 2009 and 2007, it seems like, we are all finally working together in making the world a better place to live in and saving it for the future generation. So please vote Earth over Global Warming and join the us in turning off all your lights on Saturday 27 March 2010 starting 8.30 p.m until 9.30 p.m. So mark you calendars and make sure to join in the fun. We only have one home and that place is called Earth, if we don't protect it, who will ? Ask yourself that question.
Vote Now !
Happy New Year !
Hey all you blogger readers. I hope everybody had fun and enjoyed their new year celebration. I know I did with all my cousins. This is the beginning and I would love to know what will happen to me but at the same I would like to wait and see. I wish you all a happy new year and all the best wishes on going through your life, no matter who you are, where you are, and what you are. Happy New Year and Welcome 2010 !!!
The song that made my first day of New Year !
