In the silence of the room, as I listen to The Rose by Westlife my head wonders off to a place that only I can imagine. Why do we search for love? Why do we hunger for them? Why is it called a need in our lives? Nobody can answer them. You want love from someone, but how does it feel like to seek love from someone and received them from somebody else. It feels like your heart has been stab and you are torn between angry, stupidity and confuse. Like a wrong step has been taken and you can't go on until you figure them out.
Sometimes in a crowded room I can sense everything that is surrounding me. Happiness among friends, sadness among friends, lovers in love, and pretenders that pretend they don't have a problem like I am. Yet my smile never wither though my head runs through things that needs to be done. Living in the present is important and enjoying them with friends is great. However, it is always going to be there, that problem which lingers in your mind.
During that time you would think about love. The love you felt among your family and among your friends. So different that you began to realise the power of a family's love and the specialty of friends love.
I have been here for almost a month and I began to realise the hardship. So many things to tell and so many things to say. But I will let you know soon.
Love
Life is Full Of Fear That We Overcome...
Weeks ago, I would say and beg that I would like to go home instead of staying here. Staying here means away from my comfort zone, away from my family, away from the worry of being in my home and away from the people I normally see. However, I realise the benefits of staying here. I've grown so much and in the tight schedule of my life here, I didn't have time to worry about home. I know you might think that it's bad but honestly, I worry for something else nowadays. I worry about my assignment, I worry about being late to school and I worry that I don't have enough time to wash my clothes. I realise that I worry like a normal teenage girl who is growing up into an adult.
Speaking of growing up, I realise that the decisions I make nowadays are mature and it surprises me. I began to face my fear by pushing myself into something new. Which is great considering that the course I'm taking requires me to join so many events in order to get great marks. It's fun and it's scary here. Most of the seniors are nice too here. I like that they are confident which gives me hope that I might build up mine in the period of time I was here.
Well I gotta go rush to rehearsal now. Wish me luck ! Love ya'll
Adapting
As my journey began, another ends, I realise life isn't as easy as smiling, and even to smile, it takes effort. Yet everyday I try until I reach my limit where trying was not an option anymore.
The thing about going away is that, you tend to loose yourself, your identity, who you are, and where you came from but sometimes it benefits you. Different places bring different emotions, a new start, a beginning, discover something in you that you never thought you had. I admit, the first two weeks was the hardest time of my life but I got my inspiration to write lyrics again. Which in a way felt so good. I began to love my hometown even more than I did before. It's different how you feel when you're away from home and when you come back you seem to love it more.
As promise, I will update you all on my whole new beginning. Honestly I have some pretty exciting news. I didn't think that I wanted to write it here but I guess why not make it interesting. I look up to musicians who share their life experience through music, make them to relate to other people, create them because they want to share it with the world. Recently I found that musician that I look up to, actually I found out about her about 2 years ago but I became her true fan after the release of her second album titled Breathing Underwater. You guess it, it's Marie Digby. I became interested in her because I can relate to some of her music and she has inspired me that dreams can come true. Whoever, wherever, or whenever everything is possible. So I've subscribe to her youtube account about a year ago and found out about her short series that I've been waiting patiently for months. I checked them out and thought I tweeted that I was watching her on abcmusiclounge.com and thought she was great. I honestly wanted to buy her DVD. Things happen when you least expect them to happen. Marie Digby actually replied to me !!! She said " ahhh i hope you're enjoying it !! " That totally made my day !! So that's the story... For now..
