Sleepless Nights

As I lay in this cold bed at 2.47pm I sense the past approaching me. My mind wanders back to the days that were long gone now awoken by my solitude mind. Did I miss this? A part of me did. Have moving on affected that part of me? Yes, I've lost those times I look out the window and question myself and my surrounding and cry inside from the cruelty of the world. I used to have a vision and mission to seek that part of me, of making the world a better place to live in, to share my thoughts and tell them to believe. Yet, now I go about day by day by rebelling by taking the easy route out by forgetting those vision and mission i've once believed in. A part of tells me that it is a part of growing up, a part of me tells me that my believe in the magic was fading. Have I lost my identity and go on living like any normal people would because they have lost hope?