Diary of Thoughts and Hearts

It's amazing at times when you go through the pages of your diary and you see written words written across every page. It's like a story book of life and as you go further, you will find empty pages. Those are the pages that are left to fill the unknown future. That diary will become the story of your life where you are the leading character, even when someone see them, and read them, it will be a beautifully written story book because it's real. There are no lies but filled with pure honesty. Beginning when you first see life as life really is.
How many years would it take for us to just breathe in and realise how far we've come. How did things move around without us realising the changes in our life. Would you take a moment and look at your past, that girl who comes back to you every now and than that you've forgotten. Would you tell her your present and would you stop her from her mistakes? I look out my dusty window towards the lake that brought me down memory lane. I look back and there was a tug in my heart. I close my eyes and I remember the sound of the squeaking door on the third floor of my school. The school bell rang although there were no pupils around. I touched the creaked door and saw myself sitting there wearing a pinafore. It was my imagination but it brought me closer to myself that I felt I've lost for quite sometime.
Would you ask yourself, where you are now? Are you scared? I do that every now and than and most of the time it's always yes, yes I am scared. The burden as the passing season is scary. Loosing myself, that way of writing and thinking scared me. Hence every now and than, I pick up a pen and a book and just write although I never knew where I'm going. It's like driving without a destination. As if the world spinning can be felt at every moment when you write everything out. It has it's beauty but the fear is something unbearable at times. You begin to realise who you care and who you see when you close your eyes. It doesn't make sense but when you take a while and just clear your head and slowly go back through time maybe you would understand.