Fears That Haunt Me

This road seems to hit dead end in my head, and I fear the next time we didn't see the dead end we'll crash straight. Those were one of the thoughts that haunt me. All this while, I grew up fear of being neglected and rejected and hunger for a love that I thought might assure me but instead it fear me even more. The things in my head keeps whispering devilish thoughts of having me neglected, a play thing, a testimony and a played toy a kid has got bored once they're mother bought it for him. Unconsciously, my heart keeps telling me not to fall because it can't take it again. Too much of pain over the years I realise the fear of filling that void that was absence for so long took courage. I was complicated, I was a wreck, and I was nothing compared to those average girl outside.

Since yesterday the simple words could mean nothing to that person but it meant a huge deal to me, that it sears deep inside of me before I fell asleep and after I woke up this morning. I was a tiring case of exhaustion that just keeps getting broken everytime one fix it. Is that way this insomnia keeps accompanying me every night? Could it be the life I've live all this while that got me over thinking things that I'm suppose to?