When Life Gets In The Way

My mind was filled with a list of things in the order of which is priority to me at the moment,

1. My studies
2. My Family
3. My Relationship
4. My Friends (changes with my relationship depending on situation)

Upon entering 2014, I was going through the memories I had in 2013 on FLIPGRAM and I realise that I did pretty amazing stuff and experience changes drastically than the previous year. However, I didn't realise that I was not living in the moment until I was looking back through the pictures. I had amazing friends and I realise that as you grew older it took a lot of effort maintaining them especially once that live a different world, culture and life apart from you. My free time became the time for me to complete my assignment or hanging out or eating with my classmates. Considerably it was because we have the same time schedule, and if by chance during my gap, my boyfriend would pick me up for lunch or early dinner before his class after his class whichever suited our time. I come back home only to spend a mere time with my mother as another presence of a person kept me away most time to save my sanity. My time with my cousins could be by chance if I had nothing to do on that day or cancelling other appointments to be with them. My high school bestfriends comes along when the holiday begins and when everyone is in town or aren't busy with their studies. Considering the short hours of only catching up over lunch or early dinner with my boyfriend we spend most of our time communicating through instant messaging and video calling. Time management became hard for me to make sure that everybody received sufficient amount of communication with me. However, since growing up I come to realise that I was beginning to live accordingly to how it is schedules, and there are many who felt as if I have neglected them since meeting new people and gaining someone who is considerably there for me 24 hours. Growing up and suiting myself with new environments has not been easy and most time I catch a new activity by penetrating myself into something I have never experienced. I became adventurous for reasons that thought me to live throughly and never look back regretting you never did something crazy when you were younger. Than life gets in the way and you were left to wonder the things you miss the life you had the way you viewed life and the things that brought smiles. Like driving on the highway at dawn or twilight, witnessing sun set and having rainbows above your head. I miss that and I miss the crazy laughters I once had with my high school bestfriends and the old me who sees things in different perspective. Everything seems pretty literal to me and base on the things I have to do to get to the next level. Honestly I can't remember how much I have enjoyed walking down the hall listening to music from various instruments coming from behind the closed doors. I miss listening to every note of the music and tells their own personal story only through the voice of an instrument. I miss strumming my guitar and just do it freely without the guidance of a book or chords that I must follow. I just want to follow my heart wherever it takes me and right now whatever my heart wishes are being pushed aside to complete the cruel daily list that one must complete to live in this world.