From Where I Stand

It's been a good and average 17 years of my life. Now, I'm going into the next phase where the burden of responsibility is even more, the path of your life is important, plus what I decide, determines where you I'll be in the future. I'm so used to a straight road that truthfully, when I came to a junction I have to wait and weight each one. Which is best and which would benefit more? Though I have chose the ideal college I would love to go to, I still have barriers that I have to go through. Where I stand may look easy but sometimes the choices isn't really in my hand. I would love to dream big, though many have told me that it isn't possible, I still imagine myself at that place with the instruments and the voice of cheering people. Than, when reality strikes, I began to wonder whether my dream should only be left as a dream. Never in my life have I felt nothing, nothing at all in me, but this was the first time. It's a feeling that kills me because now I truly know what people meant when they say, they rather feel pain than nothing at all. I felt it and honestly it's quite close to a failure's feeling. Like you're lost and you don't even know where you are or what you should do. All your movements are paralyzed and you think about everything weighing the problem and the obstacles. I pray to god nevertheless but sometimes I wish he would give a straight answer. Tell me that I will reach the end of it and soon realise that everything wasn't so bad. I pray...