The Wind That Blew My Soul Away

Dear bloggers, have you ever felt that your life was meaningless, maybe the thought that you don't have any purpose going on with, in your life? Sometimes you feel like you're a walking zombie that your own mind is not really seeping into the whole situation around you. There are also days you wonder whether the pain you feel inside will ever fade away. Maybe there are days you wonder how you got used to the pain that was lingering around and how you wish you could find the answer to the questions from where the pain came from? Does the pain on the surface hurts more than the pain inside? Can you give me an answer to that, because I can't figure them out till this day.
It seemed like everybody cared but they don't show that they care enough to just help me. Sympathy or questions doesn't help and definitely sarcasm or insult isn't going to help. In fact it even hurts more than the pain that already exist in the inside. Words may hurt more than you think, but your actions hurts worst than you ever thought possible. So when you talk about the things that I don't want to hear at the time, you're just pushing me away. I couldn't really speak it out loud to you that I refuse to hear whatever is there you wish to say, but I will run away or just tell you straight that I'm tired and walkaway. I will walkaway with the pain that you've just add with the pain that already exist.
In this lazy evening, as I sat here across the window facing the lake, I can feel the wind that blew my soul away. It had weakened this past few days but now it seems like it's lost. Burdening the pain that I've carried and wonder if there is a way out of this. There are tears that wish to fall now, but I got used to controlling it that I couldn't really feel anything. There is this undefined feeling in me that I am not sure of anymore. Slightly afraid, lost, sad, and confuse altogether.