What is Perfect ? Is It Worth Being One ?

I'll admit it, that I'm not much of a different with some other girls who aren't pround of their body. Upon reaching puberty years, I gained weight massively, leaving me to become a plus size kid that is often being teased. Being a plus size isn't as easy as you think. The feeling when you go to stores or walk past through a mirror is really depressing. There would be dozens of beautiful and pretty clothes and dresses but none of the size fit me. My dressings is constantly T-Shirts, Jeans and Sweaters. When I look in the mirror, I feel disgusted towards myself, because I felt ugly on the outside and inside. After being fat, I remembered it leaving a big impact on my life and my personality. My confidence shattered, my bubbly self was gone, I was insecure, and I don't take jokes easily. All the magazines that laid around in my house, didn't help much. They are always filled with women with slim, skinny and beautiful figure with no blemishes and flaws. I always thought they were perfect.

I spend my high school years being fat and I wasn't anyone's crush. Never had a boyfriend and I was to scared to make friends because I thought they hated me. You could ask my friends who have been there since I was 13 years old and they would say, my self-esteem is usually the reason why we all have fights. Aside from other problems I'm dealing with, the weight of my body and my looks didn't help me get through my sophomore year. I had acne and I was the one to call myself ugly.

During that time, my mother would let me buy magazines. Since clothing stores was not my main shop that I would go to everytime I went to the mall, book shops would be my escape and my sanctuary. After reading books and magazine, I began to realise that I have wasted 2 years in a row of enjoying my high school life because I was fat. On the day my cousin opened her book shoped, I spotted a magazine with Hilary Duff on the cover. During that time I was a fan of her, and so I pleaded to my mother to let me buy the magazine. It was quite expensive, but the magazine became my life saver and my manual book to get through high school. The magazine was called "Dolly". It thought me everything I need to learn about personal stuff, confidence, and many more. My mother was impressed by the impact the magazine had left me. Now, I would say proudly that I buy Dolly's issue every month. There are some months that I missed their issue because I couldn't go to the store to buy them. Apart from that, I have came across another magazine that is similar to Dolly wih great articles inside them. During that time, the cover of the magazine was Emma Watson. I was her biggest fan after making a promise with my cousin( who owned the bookshop ) to watch "Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince". She was on the cover of "Girlfriend". That was the first time I saw the magazine. When I bought it, I thought I was wasting my money and that it's gonna be my first and last issue for this magazine. It turned out the articles inside "Girlfriend" thought me a lot. I was a bit upset though that I didn't see the magazine earlier. I am 17 years old now, and in the future, I couldn't be holding a teenager's magazine all around. These magazine had thought me that nobody is perfect and that no one can be you because only you can be you an that makes you special. I had also loose weight, not for the wrong reasons. I loose weight because I wanted to be healthy and not end up in the hospital because my weight was the cause of it. I wanted to loose weight because I wanted to look nice in dresses and clothes.

However, I do admit, I'm not all the time that confident in myself. There are days I just feel a little bit off and began criticising myself in front of the mirror. Sometimes words of inspiration from the people I look up to helps me. Examples, like Selena Gomez, Emma Watson and Sophia Bush.

Recently I stumble across a video from seventeen, in campaigning about loving your weight.