My First Attempt

Okay, so today would be my first day in attempt to know how to move alone with no friends or family and I have discovered something about me, I'm a total clutz. Honestly I hit things, I'm blur, and I'm also afraid of new things. Which is very bad, yet, very refreshing in my opinion. I like to do something that is different from my normal life routine. Yet, sometimes this new things always makes me nervous that leads to my hand being very shaky and my voice startle most of the time.
I'm guessing you must be wondering where I am right now. Well guess what? I am at a small deli called the Tea Shop Deli, I think. Enjoying myself a small plate of carrot cake and a glass of Ice Lemon Tea. I'm getting a hand of it, slowly. One thing I manage to discover is that, I think it's safer to be alone. It makes you feel selfish for once or just get the day off to see you as who you are and please yourself instead of others. Don't go following people's back or let people make you do what you don't want to do. Plus, I think I know how to handle myself once I get my heart broken from a relationship. Don't worry I was not in a relationship, but honestly it felt like one because of the way he treated me. I'm surprise we even remain friends after our last big fight back in August. I think he was the only guy who ever made me cry so freaking bad, but I had to stay strong and learn to grow up. Getting you heart broken is just one of the challenges in life we have to go through.
Plus, I realise that not many friends are really there for you, honestly none of them are there for you when you needed them the most. They don't bother to return calls, or even have the courtesy to text you back even though they are aware that you are in need of a help or a shoulder to cry on. I guess I've had enough and that is why I am giving myself 5 days probation to live alone and update all you readers out there on how I go about 5 days in a row alone. No friends and did I tell you that I deactivated my facebook account? Yes I did, and I refuse to sign on to my messenger or turn on my other cell phone with the number that many always contacted me. This week is all about me focusing only on myself and not on others.
That's enough on me blabbing about my whole life sucks and trying to find recognition and holding my composure around people. So this little deli that I'm sitting at seems to sell a nice carrot cake that after awhile would make you want more. As always my favorite drink to most shops would either be Ice Lemon Tea or Honeydew juice so I have no complains on the Honeydew juice. Actually these place seems to have more adult here, by meanings of adult I mean to put in a polite way is my mum's age. But sometimes I enjoy being around them, they have this kind of place they pick where it just calms your mind even when you are depress. Right now there's currently a table filled with them outside the cafe. They seem to be enjoying themselves among their friends and a part of me wanted to know if I would experience that. Than again I was hoping to have a friend like Taylor Swift who was there for Selena Gomez bearing snacks and singing to heartbreaking songs all night. Yet it didn't happen. So tell me? Am I pathetic? Don't answer that you will only make me feel even more pathetic. Alright I think I better finish the remaining cake I have here and my Ice Lemon Tea. Talk to you soon. I'll update you on my next post.. on being alone. Have a nice day all you bloggers. Take care !